going to the movies alone

I've become very familiar with the feeling of attending the movies alone.

It's a very nice and sad experience for me.

Very nice with it being that I am alone, but also sad because I am alone. However today, for some reason, was a sad one.

I watched Moana today alone and walked into an empty theater. I sat there and for some reason I started to cry. I know, I was confused too to be honest. But I think a lot of it was rooted with the thought of being alone in a city I never wanted to live in. Everyday I go to work and come home. I try to ask my parents if they want to hang out with me but they never say yes. Every time my sister is actually home, she'd rather hang out with her boyfriend or just stay home so there's another rejection. And I'm also just too drained from work to drive to hang out with my friends or boyfriend who live 54 miles away.

So I sat there and I started to cry and I was so shocked. I never use to let loneliness get to me and I never though it would take over me the way it did today, but I guess that's what built up feelings does to a person.

But for some reason, I feel like I needed the cry. I think I needed to be in a dark, isolated place that wasn't my bedroom to just let my feelings go.

Today, I went out and treated myself to a movie and it definitely made me sad that I was alone, but I think it was needed for me to just feel.

PS - I liked Moana, and my other feelings about it ... well, i'll just keep those to myself.