I can't be selfish right now

I apologize for the absence of photos on today's blog post, but today is a day of words and I can only express just that.

I can't be selfish right now. It's as simple as that. My mom and family honestly need me right now and I can't be selfish and think about my own demise. But it's scary you know? I constantly think of death and how much happier I would be to just take my own life while my mom needs me more. Cancer is the most fucked up thing in the world, honestly. No one ever deserves cancer and I hate that my mom had to be one of the people to have to go through it. But here I am, stressing over finals, hating myself, and just wanting to take my life away and I'm being fucking selfish. It's not fair to anyone. I'm being selfish. I fucking can't even get my words together but all I know is that I'm selfish right now and I have no right to be. To take away my life isn't right ... right now. Well, that's where I'm at. I'm just flustered with emotions and I'm here just fucking being emotional because I'm a depressed suicidal human being, go figure.