I want a love like

Before I start the random vent session that is WELL needed, here's a new photos of what the new year has consisted of. I told myself that I was going to make it a point to take more pictures and to be more "creative" per say. I need to give myself a creative outlet, yaknowudimeaaann?

Never do I EVER post pictures of my "outfit of the day" because I feel that I dress well enough to even do those. SO I'm making a point to just showing what I wear on a regular basis, because let's be real, the majority of the world does "do it for the insta". Haha, is my lingo on point "or nah"? Anyways here's where I go the items I'm wearing:

Cardigan - Thrifted

Oversized striped shirt - Thrifted

Jeans - BDG High-Waisted Jeans - Urban Outfitters

Shoes - Sk8Hi - Vans

Bag - Forever 21

Sunglasses - Forever 21

Regardless what this year has in store, I told myself I'd smile. I'm super sad that I can't donate my hair because it's bleached. I've grown my hair out for so long for it to pass my waist and my dumbass forgot that it was BLEACHED. Ugh, but it's okay. I I'll forever grow my hair out till the day I die just to donate it. So once my hair is fully grown out with no bleach, I'm ready to donate!

These shoes have been my life. They feel so fucking amazing, everyone should buy them. Shout out to my bestie Demeturie for getting them for me for Christmas. Nike Flyknits Free 4.0.

Need I say more? My dad loves my mom so much. As much as this fool has been pissing me off, I think he's just scared and angry with this cancer shit. The other day, he told me, "Your mom doesn't need boobs. She has no one else to impress, she's mine." That's the shit I want forever, someones who will go to the ends of the earth for me. 

My main, my best friends. Thank you to my sister and Robyann for the past twenty-one years of love and mentorship. 

Hai, chewchew.

January 1st, happy birthday lola <3

Robyann is making the effort of playing more of her instruments this year. 

Robyann's kitchen. 

Okay, so here does my vent session:

I want a love like ... what I've always dreams of. Going onto ten years of loving someone, you kind of have expectations ... especially if nothing significantly has changed or moved towards the direction you have hoped. Being twenty-one, I don't know, I expected that we'd be in a different place at the moment. I'm twenty-one and is it weird for me to say that since I've been in a relationship for so long, that marriage and "settling down" is all I can think of. I know it's crazy, but I'm such a committed person and I pour my heart and soul into the people I love. I go above and beyond for those I love and sometimes, it just hurts to never have it in return. 

Is it selfish of me ... to ask for more? This year marks out tenth year. You know, a decade. We have never celebrated our anniversary any other way than dinner or Disneyland. It's great, but it's not fun anymore. I want adventures. I want to a long drive. I want to walk around the redwoods. Hike up a mountain. Walk through glaciers. Go to another city and just live as if we are natives. Let's go to landmarks. Let's stay at a hotel and wake up next to each other without any worry of what time we wake up and what time we need to leave. Let's go to a random cafe to get breakfast and find ourselves in a small quaint record store to find some of the best albums that we can't find anywhere else. Let's go to Portland. Let's go to Seattle. Let's go to San Francisco. Let's go to Zion. Fuck, LET'S GO ANYWHERE TO ENJOY THE WORLD TOGETHER. 

That's all I really want. I want to experience the world with you. We don't need sex, trust me, we've been together for 9+ years and we still are virgins ... if you're afraid that being alone together will lead to sex ... you must be mistaken. But if this is holding you back from loving me and experiencing the world with me ... I can't do this. It's so selfish of YOU to do this to me. It's hard, and I'm not going  to sugar coat it by saying I understand because I don't. I don't know. I have reached another moment of word-vomit.

The thing is, I'll love you forever. I'll go to the ends of the earth for you. So I'll be patient. I'll wait. That's all I can really to to repay you for loving me. Thank you so much, but let's move forward my love.

Salutations my wonderful followers. Thanks for putting up with my very little problems.