how is he

I'm learning how to handle my feelings on my own.

I don't tell people how I'm doing anymore.
I lie.
When people ask me about you I say "he's at home studying" or "he's probably at church" or "he's okay, we are okay"
When the real answer is, "no, we aren't one anymore" or "I'm really not sure how he is" or "I have no idea where he is"

I'm learning to handle my feelings on my own.
I don't know if that's a good or bad thing because either way, my heart is heavy.