We are stubborn creatures in a world where when things don't go our way, we strive to make it the way we want it. And when it doesn't work out, we beat ourselves up about it.
Here's my problem with that. What's the point of making things go our way when we honestly don't have that much control over those around us and how the universe works? It's like saying that you can force someone to love you. It will never work that way. It's like saying that you can truly turn back time (unless some bastard already figured out how to make a time machine and has been changing everything this whole damn time).
You see, I just don't understand why we keep trying to go towards the harder route? Yeah, I get it ... we should definitely fight for what we want because we all deserve something we want right? Everyone deserves something. It's just dumb sometimes. I've been at this place in my life where I know that I can't always get what I want and that the things that I want to fix aren't even as important as other things in life.
I'd like to say that I'm a pretty selfless person. I'm trying my best to be selfish for myself. But I feel like it's my duty to make others around me happy. I have no idea how to please myself. How to make myself happy sometimes. Yes, I am content. I am at a place where I can honestly say that everything is going pretty smoothly. But I feel like here I am, thinking too much, figuring out "how to be selfish" when it's something I honestly shouldn't even be thinking about.
I'm important too. I don't know why I'm taking the hard route.
But I think that's just it.
I want happiness.
And maybe that's the problem.
You can't just want happiness and expect it to just happen. Happiness is something to work towards, and that's something that I keep avoiding. I, like many others in the world, want what we want and want it as if it can basically just be put into our hands. That's the thing with us and the world we've learned from. We're somewhat learning that material things in life and certain feelings is the only way towards happiness. I don't know if that makes any sense. But ... okay think of it like this. Love isn't only from a significant other, it's also from family, friends, companions (you know your pets). Sometimes I forget that (and I don't think I'm the only want who forgets that too). I think i've always just associated love with the fairytales. Where some knight in shining armor will take away all the bad things in my life and make it all better. WRONG. My friends, my family, my DOGS AND TURTLE honestly make me happy and make me feel loved and I never appreciate them for that.
I can't expect myself to always take the easy route to things, because life wouldn't have it's lessons if I did that. I understand the hardship and the journey. I understand that I need to get through bridge before I can burn it.
We are stubborn creatures you and I, and we will always figure out things the hard way. But I guess that's just the way of life. We are suppose to learn from all our mistakes, you know ... trial and error. If things don't work out, just get back up and keep moving forward.
Never take the hard way, but never take the easy way out either. I guess what I'm trying to say (even though I've honestly confused myself as well) is that we should always look towards the brighter side of things. They say,
"The grass is always greener."
Not much, but I'll take it.
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