love ain't gon pay the bills child

Yeah, with that title, I guess all I have to say is this post is obviously about love.

I mean, that's all I really write about sometimes (I'm really trying to stray away from this topic, but it's always constantly in my head... just the way it works and how it can simply go from happy to tragic in an instant). Love is a weird thing. We want it, but is it really essential? (haha okay maybe that's a little overboard). Of course love is essential, but is the hurting and all the pain worth it? Is love suppose to be painful? That's my main concern here.

I guess what I'm trying to go at is ... love isn't something that should be painful. It should be romantic, passionate, and all that jazz. BUT of course, no relationship is perfect. No love is perfect. I just don't understand why pain has to be there too.

I can speak for everyone when I say that getting your heartbroken is not the feeling you ever want to feel. It's something that I truly try to avoid and want to avoid at all costs. We go through trails and errors in life, obviously. I just wish that ... things just work out the first time. That first loves are the only love.

Me being me, I'm all about commitment when it comes to love. Fuck, if you look up commitment in dictionary, it would probably be the 5th definition under the word and it would basically say, "Deniza Alarcon Sabio, not only committed to life but is completely and utterly committed to the love she offers to those around her ... YADI YADI YAAAAAA". Y'all catch my drift. Being in a relationship where I felt like I was the only one being committed and the only one trying, it got tiring. I had to work for it. It felt like a job (and that's not a good way to describe a relationship). You know, like the title of this bog, "LOVE AIN'T GON PAY THE BILLS CHILD". Love isn't the only thing a relationship needs. There's trust. There's friendship. There's WORTH. There's COMMITMENT.

Well, there goes me again, off in a tangent. But let's face it. Love will always be in our vocabulary and in our lives. It's something I feel that no one can escape. You feel the way you feel and that's that. I just wish love was as simple as it's spelled. But unfortunately, it isn't and we're stranded trying to figure it all out on our own (because remember, like I always say ... no ones opinion matters but your own).

Yeahh, this post was kinda useless even for me ... so I'm terribly sorry for wasting your time. I think I just needed to let it all out, you know ... whatever was just jumbled up in my head.

Ehh, the night is still young ... maybe I'll write more later. (NOPE, TOO TIRED I'VE GOT WORK TOMORROW).

Anyways, later days y'all.