Oh, College.

It's hard for me to admit, but college has been one of the most rewarding, heartbreaking, and most challenging time in my life. I've lost two of my grandma's, I got subject to dismissal, I had to deal with some stupid depression stuff, and to top it off ... my mom got breast cancer. Needless to say, college hasn't been my favorite time ever. A lot of the memories I have of college are experiences such as clubs shoving information I care less about down my throat and making me feel bad about not being so in love with the politics like they are, the experiences of people from other cities just around socal and how different they are compared to the Carson people I grew up with, and finally, college made me experience really truly feeling like this was the best time in my life to end my life.

It's really depressing actually, but I try not to think about it that much. College has probably, hands down, become the climax of hatred towards myself (and let's face it, I thought that I was done with that, that I left that all behind when I was twelve. But let's face THAT, it's hard to control something that sometimes is uncontrollable).

Anyways, with all the darkness obviously comes light. As unhappy as I was with my life, I'm proud that I did something about it and pursued a life that I can picture myself living and actually be happy with. Through my mom's cancer, I honestly admire how strong she has become through it all. I've found my ground and I'm just happy to say that I'm my own person with my own opinions and that I don't have to conform to this school and the people around me.

I've met a lot of toxic people in college and I definitely don't want them in my lives in the future.

I don't know. College has been bitter sweet. It hard really tested my patience and has made me realize who is important and who isn't. I'm honestly ready to leave college, and I'm honestly ready to leave the people I've met in college behind me. Because college truly is like high school. The work is harder, but the relationships you gain are the same. I mean, I have definitely gained a handful of relationships that will be important to me, but I'd rather leave college behind and start my future without a lot of the people I've met here.

Oh, College. Thanks for the stupidest four years of my life, thanks for preparing me for my future, and I guess thanks for putting me in debt. Much love, ya idiot.