I couldn't sleep in the dark, I couldn't see in the dark, and I couldn't handle not knowing where I was, where I was going, or if something would get in my way.
I've been depressed (and I hate using that word, but there's no other way I can best explain it). I've been sleeping in the dark. I've been slowly allowing myself to get use to the dark because, at the same time, it shuts out reality yet it allows me to open it up as well. That doesn't make sense, but let's put it like this -
It's exactly like understanding both sides of a story
and allowing yourself to not be biased about them.
You become open to each idea and in the end you
allow yourself to freely choose what you believe.
I've been depressed and the dark scares me, but look where I'm at right now.
I've been depressed. I know that I deserve a lot more than what has been handed to me, but the dark has become comfort even though it's the scariest place in my mind. I can't see the pain anymore. I can't see anything that reminds me of anything I shouldn't be thinking about. I can't see how wet the sleeves of my sweaters are at night. Maybe the dark isn't such a bad place.
I've been depressed. Not just from love, but from the fact that I'm not happy with myself. I can't see the stupid marks on me when I'm in the dark. I can't see anything -- and as scared as I was before of the dark and not being able to see because of it, I've come to terms with the comfort of completely blacking out everything around me and feel like I'm in my own bubble. Maybe the dark is a new place.
I've been depressed, but I've been trying to let myself feel it because it's important. Maybe the dark has become my new form of therapy.
I'll always be afraid of the dark. I can't sleep in the dark. I can't move in the dark. But i'm moving towards a part of me I never allowed myself to explore. I'm putting myself first. I'm taking each step towards growth.
I've always been afraid of the dark, but here's the first step to growth *turns the lights off*
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